“The world is indeed full of peril and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair...” – J.R.R. Tolkin - Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The full quote is “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

There are people in our lives that we have lost. Some of them are good and remind us of happier days – a world of escape where all things are simple, pure, and dream-like. These people we hold near and dear to our hearts and near and dear to that side of our personalities, of ourselves, that not many people know. The vulnerable, innocent side that makes your heart feel fully open to the world because, even though you may have troubles and fears, you know you are stronger because that person (or people) are around. It’s that feeling of family or kindred spirits – a grace that descends upon your soul and wraps it in a warm blanket of comfort – the kind of comfort you feel when the warm sunshine hits your face or when you first smell fresh, clean laundry – the relaxing sound of a brook trickling through the woods or a songbird singing on a warm, spring day when the wind is blowing just enough to gently brush your face like the hand of an adoring mother.

On the other hand, there are those people we’ve lost (or chose to lose) that are evil, vindictive, and weigh us down with grief, sorrow, stress, and depression. These people, in some sick, twisted way, find joy in hurting others. They think the world is a horrible place and that everyone in it has turned against them. That nothing in their life is fair and now they have to punish those around them, even those who love them. Being on the receiving end of this kind of negativity can almost drown out every other good thing life is serving up. Ninety-five percent of your life can be good and happy, but these people that consume the other five percent of our lives push down on our chests and into our hearts making us bitter and angry or sad and depressed. Things that once were joyful aren’t anymore. Things that should make us happy, don’t. And what makes it even worse is when the demons that hurt us are people that we love and sometimes love deeply. They’re the people we want to be close to (and maybe at sometime were), but time has shown us that they truly care nothing about us, our well-being, or the well-being of those we love. Instead, they care about themselves. So much so that they will push you off your feet, dig at your heart with their demonic talons, and let you get up only to kick you back down. On top of it all, all you want from them is love - love that you know deep inside they will never give.

And then there are the horrible times when the people we love, the good people, are taken from us, sometimes through death, sickness, or life’s changes. Perhaps a childhood friend is taken from us when their family relocates. Or when a person who has been a staple in our lives for so long is separated from us when they leave this world and travel to the great beyond.

However, there are sometimes, maybe rare cases, when friends are taken from us for reasons we don’t know and may never understand. Circumstances beyond our control, whatever they may be, build a wall between us and our loved ones - a wall that we can beat against and scratch at and kick and cry at, but a wall that never tumbles. And after fighting until you can’t fight anymore, you collapse at the base of the wall only to hear your loved one’s voice on the other side. So close, but so far away.

Yes, there are dark times in the world full of grief and despair, but the world is still fair because we were able to, even if for only a short time, know these people.

There’s one thing that we must remember throughout the trials and tribulations of love and hate: Look for the good. I’ve found that even when it comes to the bad people in my life, demons may have, at one point, been angels. Maybe only for a short, fleeting window, but it’s that short, fleeting window that we have to concentrate on. Those were the times when those people were who we truly wanted them to be, who they were supposed to be before evil consumed them. Remember them in those times like a friend or family member who has passed on. The venomous person who still lives and who you let go is not the person from your memories who you love. That person has been taken away from us, and we can only pray they return one day, but know they may never. This is the same thought we must keep for those we love and cherish, but can not see. Whether they have left this earth or whether they are still here and just on the other side of the wall, we must remember how much they love us and never second guess that love.

You know you truly love a person when you can feel them even when they’re not around, even when they’re not on this earth anymore. That moment when you hear a song, smell a fragrance, or touch a memory, and you can close your eyes and look into theirs just like they were standing right there with you. You can almost feel their arms wrapping around you, holding you, trying to communicate to you that everything is going to be okay regardless of how ultimately crappy things may feel. They are close. The hardest part is not being able to actually see them. But they’re still there. They are imprinted on your soul forever in a way that makes your body tingle when you think of them – a connection stronger than any other in the universe.

For those negative entities… I am thankful even for the most toxic people in my life because there are times I shared with them that I hold special. In addition, there are lessons these people taught me, good or bad, that shaped the person I am today, sometimes for better or sometimes for worse. I truly believe there is (or was) good in everyone. Some people just don’t seem to have as much of it and run out before the rest of us do.

And for those good people who are taken from us… As much as it tears my heart into pieces to think they’re not with me now, as much as I sometimes feel like I literally can’t survive one more second without them, I know I would much rather feel the pain of not having them around, than to have lived never knowing them or the absolute magic they brought to my life. These are the people we feel in our hearts and souls. If you can literally feel them when they’re not around, then love has to be present. Hold close the fact that your paths may cross again some day, maybe in life, maybe in death, or maybe in a dream. But when and if those paths do cross, and you find your long lost friend, you can run to them, hug them tight, and never let them go.

Yes, there are dark times in the world full of grief and despair, but the world is still fair. And yes, love truly is mingled with grief, but without grief, we wouldn’t know love. But maybe it is possible, for the majority of the time anyway, to push away the grief of the negative people. Not in a way that will make them pop up again when we least expect, but in a way that allows us to understand the grief and accept it for what it is. Yes, it may still hurt us, but maybe we can keep our eyes open wide to see and remember those we love and the good times they brought to our lives. Look beyond the grief and into the love, joy, and goodness of life and those special people. Expel the bad, and concentrate on the good. Let hate and sorrow go, and allow love to grow all the greater.