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Monday, May 25, 2015

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." - Winnie the Pooh

After a recent event that has taken place in my community, I was moved to write some of my thoughts down. I live in Highland County, Virginia, a little area in the Virginia mountains that doesn’t have a Walmart, multi-lane traffic, air pollution, and is an hour and four mountains away from the nearest stoplight. (Unless, of course, you consider our blinking traffic “yield” light in the middle of town - the light that has been blinking for as long as anyone in my generation can remember, and the light that makes everyone wonder why it’s really there.) Some would consider it a podunk, country town with simple country folk whose lives aren’t that complicated. (Kind of like those dumb FarmersOnly.com commercials convey…) Well… let me tell ya… Highland County is a perfect, shining example of why you don’t judge a book by its cover. People here, just like in every other location in the world, do have complicated lives. They work hard, have 50 bazillion things going on at the same time, and (just like so many others) each one of us, whether they want to admit it or not, have our demons. Some are easier to see, and some hide their demons deep inside.

Our community is currently in mourning over the loss of a young man who brought happiness and joy to so many people. I watched this kid grow up as did everyone in our close, tight-knit community. And there are some that watched him grown up that don’t live here anymore but are still part of our family. I didn’t know this young man as an adult. I honestly never really had any conversations with him other than telling him “good job” after he played his heart out in a high school basketball game or maybe yelled for him after he full-pulled his truck in the local truck and tractor pull. Other than knowing he was a fellow community member, I really didn’t know HIM at all. I just know that he was a neighbor, and in Highland County, that’s all you really need to know to care about someone else’s well-being. I won’t get into any other details other than saying this young man decided, for whatever his reasons were, it was time for him to leave this world. His family, friends, neighbors, and community members will miss him greatly.

Of course, times like these, as horrible as they are, remind everyone of things they need to do on a regular basis:

#1 (and most importantly) Be Kind to Each Other – People aren’t going to get along with everyone they come across. I know I don’t. Now, I get along with most everyone, but, to be honest, there are a few people in my community that make me grit my teeth. (You’d be lying if you denied it.) There are those people who think they’re all-knowing and have all the answers, that just grate my nerves, and there are those popular girls from high school that (as much as I would like to) still can’t quite figure out. I can, however, truly say that if any of these people needed me, I truly do think (and hope) that I would make the decision to be there for them. I know I would because in the end… do negative emotions really matter?? No. If it came down to it, I would be there for the person I disliked most in the world. I might want to shove that person’s face in a cow pie during some moments, but I would help them nonetheless. We have to be kind to each other no matter how different we are. Troublemaker or square. Christian or Atheist. Farmer or city slicker. We’re all human, and none of us really know what is going through the mind or through the emotions of the person standing next to us. All we can do is help make each other’s day just a little more positive with a friendly “hello,” a sincere and honest “How is your day going?” or a positive-toned and sincere “Hope you’re having a good day!” Don’t just go through the motions – mean it when you say it.

#2 Make Sure Your Loved Ones Know They’re Loved – This one doesn’t get any simpler. I’m not always an outwardly emotional person. I used to be more so than I am now. I’ll support any of my friends who need me, but I’m not necessarily a mushy person. I used to be to some, but that part of me has kind of expired. Don’t get me wrong – I’m very happy, just not so mushy. But even for the non-mushy people out there, people in our lives need to know that they’re loved, whether it’s easy for us to show them or not. Nine times out of 10, it’s not easy for someone just to walk up to another person and spill their guts to tell them how special they are. Ok – maybe it’s easier than 9 times out of 10, but this is me I’m talking about here. I can write it on a greeting card, but it’s a little harder for it to come out of my mouth. Anyway, you don’t always have to tell people you love them. Most people show their loved ones they care everyday through small acts of kindness. If you happen to be on the receiving end of these small act, for the love of Pete, recognize them. When your mother stops by your office to bring you a drink because she knew you forgot yours and you were too busy to leave the office to get one, thank her and recognize that’s her telling you “I love you and you mean the world to me.” Yes, that happened to me last week. Bless my mother’s heart. I said “thank you,” of course, but I didn’t recognized the symbolism of it until just this moment. Recognize the little things. Night after night, when your wife fixes you dinner, makes your plate, and lovingly brings it to you while you sit on the sofa watching your favorite TV show, PLEASE recognize she does that for love. She may just need to know that you recognize it, too. Why else would she do it? You’ve got two legs. You can walk. It’s because she loves you. (Or visa versa??)

#3 Witness the Everyday Majestic – Happiness, beauty, humanity, good health, clothes, food, a home, family, friends…. Don’t take these things for granted. I know you’re probably thinking “Oh, I don’t.” But really? Do you take a moment everyday to marvel at just how good you’ve got it? Do you walk down the street on your lunch break and thank God that you have two legs to walk with, two eyes to see? Even the most unluckiest person in the world who thinks they have no friends or family to care about them or no job or no talent or no whatever STILL has a gift and something to be happy about. What was the active word in that sentence? THINKS! If you have a working mind, then YOU have control over your life. If you don’t like something, then YOU have the power to change it. And chances are, if you ask for help, someone will give it to you.

It’s sometimes so easy to concentrate on the negative and not the positive. Most people do. Wouldn’t it be nice if our human nature told us the glass was always half full instead of half empty? But I guess the best thing we can do to remind each other that the glass truly is half full is revert back to #1 – Be Kind to Each Other. In the end, I guess that’s really what it’s all about, right? And sometimes (as terrible as it sounds) that’s the hardest thing to do. But is it really THAT hard to do? Is it? I’m not claiming to know everything about the world and how to exist in it. (I always feel like I come across that way when I write a post like this, but I surely don’t mean to. It’s just a way to be creative and honestly figure out more about myself.)

Maybe the next time I see that popular girl from high school, I’ll make a little more effort. After all, we can be different and still get along and co-exist, right? I would hope so. And just maybe if we co-exist a little better, we’ll find out we have more in common than what we think… Or maybe not. But either way, the world will be a little more pleasant, and it will remind each of us that no matter if we see eye to eye on everything or not, there’s still someone out there who does care about your general well-being and happiness. Have a good day, everyone! (And I mean that very sincerely!)

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