Have you ever worked towards a goal? Put your time into something just knowing it’s a sure thing in the future? Maybe you’ve worked with an organization for years. You have faith in this organization, and you’re working hard to achieve a certain job or status. You think “Next year at this time… I’ll have it,” or “All this hard work will pay off one day.” Only – surprise, surprise – the following year gets here and the position you have worked so hard for is offered to someone else. You try to accept the reality with grace, but you can’t push the thought from your head that YOU were the more deserving candidate. “I put all this time in only to fall short of my ultimate goal. All that time wasted,” you think. It’s frustrating and aggravating, and sometimes enough to make you throw a tantrum. Well, not really. (Okay. Maybe really…)
I recently had a situation similar to this - a project I put years of time, effort, and love into. The project was on the verge of blossoming (and had been for quite some time), but in the end, it fell apart. In addition to other sadness surrounding the project, I was devastated. Beyond devastated. It was honestly one of my biggest dreams, and now I faced the harsh reality that it may never happen. It took months before I was halfway able to get up and dust myself off. I still haven’t completely, but it’s getting better. Hour by hour, day by day, month by month.
When something like this happens to you, it’s hard not to concentrate on it all the time. My biggest thing was listening to music, which I love to do. A simple drive into town would result in a song on the radio that reminded me of my worries. Sometimes I would let the song play and embrace the sadness and other times I’d turn the channel really quick out of fear, denial, or courage to carry on – however you want to look at it.
But we have to move on – in some capacity or another. And, for me, it helped to take it hour by hour.
It also helped to concentrate on other blessings. Of course, that wasn’t always easiest. It was much easier to sit on my couch in my PJ’s and sulk and cry screaming “Why is this happening?!” But in order to carry on, you have to force the good thoughts in and force the bad thoughts out. Willpower!!!
During this time, one of my friends told me I needed help (yeah… like professional help.) At a time, I thought my friend might be right, but whenever I started letting the good things in again, I found out pretty quickly I did have things (plenty of things) to be happy about. Of course, I always knew I had other blessings in my life. It’s just almost easier, for some reason, to concentrate on the negative. I wonder why that is? I wonder if all humans are like that or if it’s just me? Anyway, concentrating on the good was harder than concentrating on the bad, but I found happiness in the good that I could cling on to - happiness that made fighting back the bad things easier. And happiness that reminded me about the good memories that actually were buried deep in that “failed project.”
That project may have “failed,” but on the journey to making that project succeed, I had some of the most memorable and happiest experiences of my life - memories I wouldn’t trade for the world. They say “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Well, for some people that may not be true, and at one time, I didn’t believe that myself, but looking back, that quote kind of applies. I would much rather have “failed” at that project than never experienced the wonderful journey.
I’ve been putting the world “failed” in quotations. How much can we actually “fail” at something we had a good time doing? Maybe the success isn’t at the end of the journey. Maybe success isn’t completely defined in the actual full accomplishment of a goal? Maybe the success is that we were actually given the opportunity to take the journey and we had the courage and drive to take it?
Furthermore, I also remember another well-known quote: “When one door closes, another one opens.” It’s definitely sometimes hard to close a door on one portion of your life. It may even be the hardest thing you ever do. But truly where one chapter of your life ends, another will start. Just have the courage to open that next door. You may not think it is what you want to do, but it may be what you were meant to do, and it’s definitely what you have to do. It’s a hard faith to have sometimes – knowing what you HAVE to do and doing it whether you want to or not.
And too, you may never know when that chapter of your life may be revisited in your story. Some dreams don’t work out; however sometimes things have an interesting way of falling into place at the right time – the right time may be now or the right time may be ten or twenty years from now. OR maybe… just maybe… there is something all-together greater waiting in your path ahead. Best wishes for safe and happy travels, and don’t be afraid to open doors…. Or even kick them down.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller
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