“If Only We’d Stop Trying to be Happy, We’d Have a Pretty Good Time.” – Edith Wharton

As humans, we sometimes too frequently tend to concentrate on the things we don’t have rather than the things we do. Or the things we can’t do rather than the things we can. I’ve noticed that especially about myself. I get caught up thinking about the bigger things in life, the things I haven’t accomplished yet, things I don’t have - a new car, more money, the ability to buy my dream house. I often wonder if I have taken advantage of every dance opportunity I could in life. Should I have chosen another path to accomplish more or tried to perform on a larger level? Did I miss a chance? I don’t really have the desire to be well-known, rich, or famous, but the desire to feel successful like I have made my life worthwhile. Like I have done something to be worthy of the opportunity to have a life and to have walked the earth. Whether its goals, success, money, or material possessions, I feel we sometimes work harder trying to acquire things instead of enjoying the things we already have. I know I’m guilty of that.

Being a dreamer is so much fun because I try to push my boundaries everyday. Dreamers look at life as living not just surviving. But I’m finding there also seems to be a lot of pressure to a dreamer’s lifestyle. Or mine anyway… There are so many things to accomplish in this wondrous lifetime and not enough time to do it in. We sometimes think we have a full-life to get everything done - usually 90 years or so - but that’s not always the case. As we all know, each day is not a guarantee, and life could end in the blink of an eye with a car wreck, an act of violence, a freak accident, or a brain aneurism. Anything can happen. No day is guaranteed. No hour is guaranteed. And by golly, be grateful for the seconds. In a second, you can experience a smile, a look, a touch – those smaller miracles we sometimes forget when planning for the “big” moments of our lives.

Here’s my dilemma: One of my big aspirations in life has been to be a professional dancer. Not for the fame, but for the experience. (And a little fortune wouldn’t hurt either, but like some of my past posts have said, “I don’t do it for the money.”) And sometimes I think: “I have to accomplish this! This is one thing I’ve always wanted to do! I must get this checked off of my bucket list before it’s too late!” I want to perform at unique places for amazing audiences who really got psyched up over my group’s performances – I guess a kind of a clogging rockstar… as funny as that sounds. Mainly it’s just longing for that energy that you get from the combination of an awesome, intense performance and an electric crowd. There’s no better feeling.

But then there’s this little voice in my head, this wise little voice that has the perfect advice. “Shut your mouth and open your eyes, Dorothy!!” College basketball coach Dean Smith once said, “If you make every game a life-and-death proposition then you’re going to have problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.” It’s kind of the same thing with life. If you go through life thinking about everything you don’t have and how you can obtain it, you’ll miss out on the things you do have. It’s a simple thought that we all keep in the back of our minds, but we so rarely remember it. I’ve been reading Michael J. Fox’s Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. In the opening pages, Michael, who suffers from Parkinson’s Disease, talks about his morning routine of waking up to an already twitching body, the battle to put on his slippers because his body is contorting and fighting him and itself, his first steps awkward steps of the day that lead to the bathroom where he will proceed to apply toothpaste to his Oral B – a task that, with Parkinson’s, as about as easy to accomplish in an old pick-up truck on a back country road filled with potholes. But with toothpaste finally on the brush, Fox inserts the cleaning device in his mouth and opens his neurological floodgates letting his right hand twitch and jump to its nerve’s content. He describes it as being better than the most powerful state-of-the-art electric toothbrush on the market.

Just a few paragraphs away, Michael talks about physical strength, spontaneity, physical balance, and the freedom to do what you want, but Michael doesn’t have that anymore. That struck me enough to lay the book down, walk into my office to grab my laptop, and walk back to my couch. With my laptop in hand and couch in sight, something hit me. I was able to easily get up from my couch and WALK into my office, grab my laptop, and WALK back in a matter of a couple seconds. I wondered how difficult that task might have been for Michael. It would be more of a chore battling a twitching body on the way to and from. But of course, Michael has something to be appreciative of (and I’m sure he is!) – the fact that he can walk at all.

The other thing that struck me was the comment about spontaneity. If I wanted to, I could jump in my car at any moment, throw caution to the wind, pick up a good friend, and take a road trip across country. Of course, there’s that little worry of work, money, and responsibilities, but physically I could do that. There are a lot of people who couldn’t.

Going back to my original point – we get so wrapped up in trying to be richer, trying to be more successful, trying to accomplish so much that we forget what we already have. Oprah Winfrey said “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.” I found that if I sat back and thought about what I have, then I HAD a greater amount than what I DIDN’T HAVE. So what am I worried about?

A geocaching adventure with a few good friends

When we scratch and claw and dig so hard to try to get more wealth, success, or whatever we’re going after, we sometimes develop tunnel vision. We forget the small blessings. An evening walk with a friend, watching a movie with family, enjoying the soft smell of freshly dried laundry, laying on a blanket with friends while enjoying the site of a sky full of stars, enjoying a perfectly prepared steak, or even something as simple as feeling warm sunbeams on your face. Where I live, it’s winter outside and temperatures are low. I’m not a fan of cold weather at all, but I love the winter because of how warm it makes the house feel. I long for the warmer weather when my hubby and I can hit the road to one of his favorite car shows or when I can hit up a geo-cache or two with a few fun friends. But while I long for green grass, blue sky, and 80-degree temperatures, I still count my blessings that I can sit at my window and SEE the big puffy snowflakes fall from the sky or that I can WALK up a hill to snowtube down, wipeout at the bottom, laugh at myself, and get back up and do it all over again. These are the memories I will remember. Dancing on big stages or in front of the perfect crowd is amazing and is a pretty cool experience and accomplishment, but times of peace and quiet and marveling and soul searching with friends… that’s just what life is truly all about. Besides… if we got what we wanted all the time, consistently everyday… how special would it truly be?

The Best Success

Wondering whether I have chosen the right path, wondering if I am successful enough, wondering if I could’ve performed on bigger stages… All I have to do is dance with my kids, watch the smiles on their faces while they’re having fun in class, watch the comradery develop among my dancers whether they’re performing or competing… Dancing on a stage with guys and girls who put every ounce of their heart into it… There’s no bigger stage than that. And how lucky am I? I might not be a Julliard graduate or own a big, fancy New York studio, but I’m definitely lucky for all the successes, opportunities, blessings, and people I have in my life.